There’s a place at the top of certain mountains where I am well beyond measure.
Here, I launch from a chairlift and swish to a stop at the trail head, overlooking an enormous bowl of snow. At the lip of the bowl, where I pause to consider the choices of trails down the mountain, the thin air mists with an intoxicating swirl of peppermint and pine sap. On clear days, the sky creates a cerulean lid, infinite in its distance from where I rest, the possibilities seemingly endless.
This place doesn’t exist in Minnesota where I’ve lived in recent years. In Minnesota the snow packs densely and crusts with ice. Here, I dig the rims of my skis to maintain control. The air, though crisp, is not thin. It numbs the tips of my nose and ears with frostbite. Here, I brace for the immediacy of the hard packed frozen ground. It’s an act of athleticism to make it to the bottom of a mogul run in Minnesota.
But this place does exist on mountains where I’ve visited and then revisited in my thoughts. In these places I’m on the cusp—a threshold between an ephemeral freedom and the strong pull of gravity, an opening where fear is transformed by adrenaline into calm, still peace. I plant my skis beneath me and pause, not wanting to leave this space where my breath suspends in mist. The sun warms my cheeks to rutty rouge as I breathe in the still silence.
Peaceful silence.
In this moment, I think I can return to where I began and make new choices unbound by the past. I believe the lightness can be recreated, where the heavens dip down into the bowl.
The edge of the bowl at the mountain top is my happy place. But it’s more of a sensation than a geographic pin point on a map. Breathless, yet still. Seemingly free to gravity, but shimmering with life. I am free of my body. And I am free of my mind.
Such an elusive place. And so hard I work to inhabit this space.
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Writing prompt: Create a list of moments when you’ve felt well in a way that is hard to describe with words. Then create a list of words that describe your senses in those moments. For example, what did you feel, see, hear, taste or smell? Free write (without censoring yourself) a description of one of those moments.
Author: Pamm Smith
Image Source: Babeer
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